5 Things We Have Learned in 5 Years of Marriage

Today is our 5th Wedding Anniversary, so my husband and I wanted to do something a little special. We’ve been thinking a lot about the last five years of married life, everything we haven been through and accomplished. There have been some great milestones, and are looking forward to many more years of memories. In the spirit of reflection and growth we decided to compile a list of the 5 Things We Have Learned in 5 Years of Marriage.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. If you decide to purchase any of these resources, I earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Many items photographed will be linked below.

1. Communicate Expectations

The #1 lesson we have learned in the past five years is the importance of communicating expectations. Turns out, Colton can’t read my mind and I can’t read his. Weird. Every disagreement we have had can be traced back to a moment when neither of us communicated our expectations of the day. I was planning on going to the zoo, he wanted to study. I thought we were staying home, he planned a day out with friends.

It took a couple years of getting it wrong, but we now take time once every few days to talk about the schedule. Talking about upcoming events also helps our introverted selves prepare to people. We also make a point to have a monthly “state of the union” meeting, as well as a big meeting on New Years Eve. Communication is key, always.

2. Pray Together Every Day

Pray together every night. Colton and I began our relationship as friends and prayer partners, and honestly believe God used that relationship to built a firm foundation for our future marriage. On exhausting days or after an argument it can be hard to come together to pray, but make it a priority. There is such power in prayer. Honestly, on those days when praying is the hardest that’s when we need it most.

Also, it’s important to ask each other for prayer requests. That goes back to the importance of communication. Knowing what the other is struggling with helps us know how to help. We are a team, and there is no bigger advocate for us in prayer than our spouse.

3. Remember Your Love Languages

You may have heard of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If you haven’t, we highly recommend you give it a read. In the book Chapman talks about the five languages of love: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

The primary love language for both Colton and myself is Quality Time. We love being in the room together. Even when we aren’t talking, it’s nice to be in the same room. Knowing this helps us to plan our week. We also both don’t really care for gifts. We love giving, but don’t care too much for receiving. That helps us plan dates. Again, it’s more about the quality time and less about the money spent on the date.

Knowing your spouses love language, how they like to give and receive love, can completely transform the way you live your life together under one roof. A depleted “love tank” can leave you feeling like your spouse doesn’t care when in fact they just don’t know how to love you best. Also, we recommend retaking the test every few years. Love languages can change.

4. Run the Race Together

Marriage is a partnership, but being married and loving your spouse is not the sole purpose you are on this planet. It’s easy to put your spouse on the throne of your heart. Taylor Swift even sang a very catchy song called “King of My Heart,” but there is only one true King.

Hebrews 12:1 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.“

Colton is the love of my life, and I am his… but we love Jesus more. It is our great joy to run the race of faith together, with our eyes fixed on Heaven. One of the biggest lessons we’ve learned in our 5 years of marriage is to run the race together as a team.

5. Laughter is the Best Medicine

Choosing a fifth lesson out of the dozens we have learned in the past five years was not easy, but Colton made a good point. Laughter has been so instrumental in our relationship. The truth is life is messy, and sometimes things just go wrong. Like that time when three of our four major appliances broke in the span of six months. Or that time when the sewer inspector found an entire antique well under our brick patio. Or that time we got to San Diego and were without luggage for almost 48 hours.

Things don’t always go to plan, but you have to learn to laugh about it. God has a plan no matter what, and He always provides. Don’t take yourself too seriously and learn to have a little fun.

I hope you enjoyed our list of 5 Things We Have Learned in 5 Years of Marriage. Don’t forget to subscribe below for new content every week. If you’d like to read about some of our adventures, check out following:

Top 7 Must-See Places in Israel
Top 5 Favorite Places to Visit in San Diego
15 Must-Have Food at Universal Studios Orlando
Best Small Towns in America: Highlights of Lindsborg, KS

As always, if you have any questions feel free to send me an email or message me on Instagram. Follow @bestillandhygge on Pinterest for more travel tips and tricks and subscribe below for new content every week.

Love Always,